I must preface this a bit, as it has been on my mind since I read it. This comes from Facebook, and I also heard these allegations about this Rudy guy earlier last year, last Summer, when I was in Denver. Now, Rudy seemed to be in charge of Security at a Sundance I attended, this is problematic, as I don’t want to “rock the boat”, but I don’t want to “go along to get along”. I must STAND, because this Elder, this Beautiful Lakotah Uncila, talks of fearing for her life from this guy. I recall as I danced, members of the Security team would come and dance in support, yet they were wearing their knives on their sides as they danced at the Tree of Life. I remember thinking: “They are Calling the Lightning upon themselves”.
I ALWAYS go to Ceremony unarmed. Nothing sharp or dangerous but my Senses and my Eagle Bone Whistle tools. These sorts of missteps can cause many problems, even violence and feuds. WHOEVER this Rudy is allied with, MUST address this issue somehow. I also KNOW I Sundance upon Lakotah Land. Ohecetu, hard to deal with, some things, but Someone must…in the meantime, this Nobody shall…
I awoke, it was after Sundance, the Day after, I stayed in the Tipi back by the Sundance Circle one last night… I came out, still dark, was gonna smoke a cigar someone gave me. there was this Woman, an Unci, Red Calico Dress, and Combat Boots, stirring a trash can full of Buffalo Soup! WoW! It was Helen Red Feather. She told me her Life Story in bout an hour… I sat there and smoked and listened. She so EXPERTLY cooked over that Fire! Then, when i later on TASTED THAT SOUP!!!!!! NEVER NEVER NEVER HAD BETTER! Helen Redfeather is a True Jewel of Lakota Womanhood and I Treasure this memory from time to time… Hoka Hey. What I ALWAYS recall is how I thanked her for the Soup, how it was the BEST I EVER had…she said back to me… “it’s cause you were there…” makes me cry to remember Her.
My name is Helen Red Feather, Psa Psa, Wiyka Luta. I am a native of Wounded Knee. I’ve been with the American Indian Movement for over 40 years. All of my blood relatives and family from Wounded Knee are AIM supporters. I am a 1973 Wounded Knee Veteran.
With AIM, I traveled to Washington DC, Gordon NB for Yellow Thunder, Custer SD, and Traveled to Scotts Bluff NB, and Boulder, CO. I also was a front liner during the Occupation in Wounded Knee in 1973. My mom and I have felonies that were acquitted from the 1973 occupation. In 1981, Crazy Horse camp was started. We were practicing our treaty rights. I was pregnant at the time. Our spiritual leader, Charles Fast Horse, held ceremony at the camp until my son was born the old traditional way. I was away from camp when my son was born for two weeks. At that time, the bear spirit came to camp and stayed there until my son was born. The morning he was born at Crazy Horse camp, my brother in law, Paul Thunder shield, was taking care of the fire for the sweat that morning. At that time there was a rock he couldn’t pick up because it kept shocking him. Charles told him to leave that rock because I was in labor and the spirit of that rock was coming. The next morning after he was born, they had another sweat. And the rock went in. That’s when the spirits named my son Mato Cikala Hokasila.
When I came to Pueblo in 1993, I met Joe Hernandez who was the link to the native community in Pueblo that was very small. I mentored the youth and we formed a drum group. We hosted and attended sweats, and other spiritual gatherings during this time. We even had our first Powwow in Pueblo ever. I also mentored others coming out of Prison coming into society. I also have been an active member in AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, since 1993 in Pueblo, and still active until this day. When I come back to Pueblo, I have an AA group and a sponsor.
Now thinking back Rudy, of all my children/Barrio Warriors and the others of our group here, we all did things together in a group. We always have. And when we went to meetings and other ceremonies, you were never there, Rudy. And now the rest of the kids/Barrio Warriors are doing so well and here you are disrespecting women, your own mom, and the youth. You are still claiming colors, pulling the youths hair, intimidating and threatening them in Pueblo even me. You are supposed to be protecting us. Taking care of us. I’ve told you before! You can’t be gang banging and be a leader at the same time. I see that you are trying to put Gang banging and AIM together. Telling people not to wear Red cos it’s YOUR color. What is wrong with you, Rudy? What is really wrong with you to do all the things you are doing. Why are you doing that, Rudy. You were doing so good. Why would you want to do this to your own people and your own community.
We were for the People, Rudy and you know that. And Rudy, We were the ones praying. Not you. After all of the work was done you would show up and talk and take recognition for all of the work. Because you are good at talking. I always looked up to you for being a good talker and a leader. I was so proud of you, Rudy. I was so proud of you for that. You know EVERYTHING I do I do for the people. We took each other as relatives. I stood by you 100%, Rudy. I even carried the Barrio Warrior staff. We pulled security in Denver and everywhere else they wanted us to. The group was well respected. Looking back, I believe you just want to be in front of the camera. And that’s not what I’m about. I was raised better than that. I was raised traditional, Rudy. I was raised traditional in Wounded Knee with little education. I was taught by my grandparents to live traditional. But I taught myself and my family how to read and write. Looking back, I feel like I was just a trophy to you. You used me to get where you wanted be. But all of that is in the past, Rudy.
I moved back to Wounded Knee in 2010 and signed up for disability and got approved in January, 2013. My back pay I received in January was $3200. As I waited for that check, you and I talked about how I was tired of WALKING back and forth from Rapid City to Wounded Knee and I was tired and too old to be doing that. We also talked about how I wanted to move back on my land at Mouse Creek in Wounded Knee which is 5 miles from Wounded Knee. For years we talked about moving back to my land so that I can put up a home for Precious and Wia before I go home beyond that Morning Star. I wanted a home for my kids and my grandkids so they would all have a home. I explained to you how I wanted an old car or pick-up truck. You told me you could buy me one cheap in Denver. My payee and I went to the bank and we gave you the money, Rudy. $2000. Rudy, all of my family that day were taking turns holding the $2000 worth of $100 bills. I asked to hold it because I knew I that would be the first time and the last time I would ever hold $2000 in my hand. At that time, I thought about buying a trailer house. But I needed a car to make that happen. So I decided to buy a car. So now I gave you the money, Rudy. I trusted you. I thought I raised you better than that. I thought I taught you respect.
I received my back pay and gave you the money in March, Rudy. My Niece, Lucille Grass, is my payee. We gave you that money and was to put it in her name. That way it would go under Precious name. You told me in March that you bought the car but never answered the phone and never told me what was going on, Rudy. So now, Matrina was the one that went with you to pick up that car in Denver in a car you rented with the money I sent you on top of the $2000 I already had sent you. She recognized that car as the one you had repossessed in Denver last summer and you told her you paid $2000 and that it was paid for. She knew this car was for me and you told her it was paid for. You called and said you needed $350 to pick up the car in Denver. So I wired you $350. After she picked up the car, you did the Peace Jam event in Denver and kept that rented car all weekend with my money. So you were putting gas in two cars and used the money to take off from the group to show off in a rented car all weekend.
You then called me back for more money to get plates and insurance. I sent you another $175. All of this time, I thought you were doing this for me. I was so happy. I didn’t know I was being ripped off, disrespected, laughed at, being called a drunk on meth. You know damn right I would never do meth and I am not drinking. YOU HURT ME, RUDY. Now my heart hurts. You hurt me bad talking bad about me to others. Did I ever do that to you? I would never do that to you. All I ever did was talked highly of you. I was so proud of you, Rudy. Ask anyone in Wounded Knee and the whole reservation how I bragged about you.
You were supposed to pick me up for Denver March Powwow so I waited and you never came. I could have hitchhiked down there but I waited for you and I missed it. So now my son and I were on our way to Pueblo to get the car. We ended up at Zero Tolerance camp in White Clay so we stood there hoping you would answer your phone to come for us there. My son took care of that fire until the end. And from that, he found sobriety, a good woman, and a companion Shunka named Wahampi Soup. And now he has a complete family and sobriety which I am thankful for.
I was contacted by Matrina and she told me the group was planning to come to South Dakota for Moccasins on the ground in June 3 months later. I was so happy because you said you were bringing the car then. Finally I told all of my family, “Yay! Rudy’s finally bringing my car. You guys showed up to Rapid and you didn’t bring the car. You lied to me again. Because I was so upset, you didn’t want to take me to Pueblo. You wanted to leave me in Rapid but Matrina took me back to Pueblo and you went to White Clay. When I got to Pueblo and seen that show off trophy car, I was so upset. I knew something was up then.
When you got back to Pueblo from White Clay a couple days later, you told me that was my car but you refused to show me a title or any paperwork proving what you paid. Everyone in Pueblo thought it was your car because that is what you were telling everybody and yet, I was still walking in Pueblo because you wouldn’t take me anywhere I needed to go. You gave me an excuse every time but you’d take off all the time by yourself. You even went on a low rider cruise telling all your friends it was your car.
I had to be back in Pine Ridge and you knew all week we had planned to be there by Thursday. Again, you made excuses that the car was over heating so I took off walking. I fell that day on the highway hitchhiking back home and ended up in the hospital from heat stroke. You made me sick for months, Rudy. I’m still sick from this.
When I got out of the hospital, you didn’t want me to go home because you didn’t want me to take the car. I couldn’t be near you anymore. Matrina and my son knew that. You tried to make us stay in Pueblo until you were ready to go to South Dakota 2 days later. You were mad ‘cos we had our own gas money and you weren’t in our plans to go to South Dakota in my car. You were mad ‘cos Matrina told me the truth and stood up to you and refused to let you control me anymore. You were mad ‘cos my son JR was there and you couldn’t bully us women anymore. So we left back to South Dakota in my car. You threatened then you would call the cops on us. You belittled us as we were leaving talking low enough so no one else would hear what you were telling us women.
Back in April, that is when Margaret called you to ask to pick up my car to take it down to me. You then disrespected the second woman after me. You cussed her out and told her some pretty mean things on Facebook.
When you found out that I was staying in South Dakota with my car, you disrespected and threatened everybody in our group with guns and gang violence. What kind of leader is that, Rudy? What kind of leader would do such things to hurt and destroy the spirits of women and our youth. I taught you to respect women in the Lakota way. But I guess you’re not Lakota so I guess that’s why it’s ok to disrespect me and the other women. The other woman you disrespected has her own culture too but no reason to disrespect when she is supporting what we do.
I was coming to Pueblo to meet with an AIM counsel to tell my side of things with all of us present. When you knew it was going to happen that weekend, you paid Leo from Strong Hearts Society to steal the car from me. I even let him stay at my house. He told my daughter himself he did it for you. An EVERYBODY talks. I know where he was all that time in Porcupine. Everybody knows me so they tell me everything on the rez. You paid him in weed and money. Everybody talks rudy..
I hitchhiked to Pueblo because I want to know the truth about that car and I want to know why you did what you did.
Matrina and I sent messages to those who said they’d put a meeting together and I’ve been in Pueblo a month with no response. So I’ve been disrespected every way I have turned. I’m hurt because something I supported for 40 years would let this happen and keep you in leadership. When I joined them, I still go by what I was taught back then. To love and stand up for your people. Support your people. Of all these years, the only one that came to support me ever was Dennis Banks. And I have so much respect for him. And I still pray for him and still hold him in my heart.
So the other day I woke up and prayed to Tukasila to take me home. I told him I didn’t want the car or the money. I know I’m always going to be poor. So I started walking home. I was leaving without closing which upset me. I crossed over to the side road from the highway and I looked up and, BANG!, there was the car. So I thought to myself, oh there’s trouble standing right there. So I walked over there to see if my medicine was still in my car. The medicine from the Sun Dance my Grandma gave to me to protect me and my car was gone. That’s all I wanted. I realized the car was parked at your friend’s job because they told me that it was your car and your friend worked there. All I wanted to know was the truth from you. All you had to do was tell me the truth, Rudy, and make it right to everyone you hurt.
I had to find my own car. Then you show up at your friends work and you lied to my face. You said you had nothing to do with Leo stealing the car and then told me you told Leo to return my phone. So you lied to me again. But now we have proof that you stole that car from me just weeks ago.
We talked that day just two days ago and you again, threatened me telling me I was now in your territory. And I better watch myself. And it’s not the first time you threatened me. You told me the girls in the hood were going to kick my ass and that you were taking guns to the rez. I’m not afraid. I travel alone, Rudy and you know it.
First thing that comes out of you and the other gang bangers is that I will be fast to stab you up. Back when I was young, yeah, that was me. I was a warrior then and I am a warrior now. Those days I put aside long ago. I know what I did, Rudy, when I was drinking. I’ve paid my dues. And yeah, I did what I did to defend myself because I am a warrior. And I didn’t kill my own kind. And that’s what makes me a warrior and I’m not afraid to do it again. Twice I did what I did to defend myself. What did you do to call yourself a warrior? What did you do? You know what I did. I’m a Warrior, Rudy.
I am not on Facebook and I don’t want a Facebook. I don’t text and I don’t do computers. I talk to people on the phone or face to face. I can live without all of that. So you all put stuff on Facebook about me and my knife. To make me look bad. But that’s all you have to say about me. So thank all of you for that. Because to all of you that talk bad about me, it makes me stronger. It makes me care more and it pushes me even more to fight for a better future for my grandkids. I will continue to the work I’m doing but this time on my own. I forgive you guys.
I could put you in Jail for what you did to me which is a felony. But I’m not going to. Because I am not a cop caller or a snitch. You called the cops on me and Matrina but even they knew you lied. I could be very mean and send you to prison but you’d get hurt in there cos you are not a warrior.
I changed my ways so think about changing your ways. I done buried my hatchet a long time ago.
If anything should happen to me in the future. People will know it’s you.
This was all about greed and lies. But now I am happy that there is closure and that the people will know the truth. Now you could tell all of your friends that it’s your car and that a very poor woman from Wounded Knee gave it to you. So love and cherish that car cos that trophy, show off car was meant for you. Not me. Now I’m no longer your trophy.
The picture you posted on Facebook telling people things are all good. You snuck that picture smiling posing for a camera. You are just a fake.
From this day forward, you are not my son anymore. Keep that money. I don’t want that car. And I don’t want you in my life anymore either.
Now I can dance. I am going home to ION. Independent Oglala Nation.
Helen Red Feather
Independent Oglala Nation/Wounded Knee Veteran
Defender Eagle 